Real For Life

What‘s It Like To Be In Relationship With Me? Ep. 3

October 19, 2021

Lance Wigton is back with counselor Beth Keop for part three of our series on Emotional Intelligence.

In this episode Beth leads out with the 10 primary emotions that we experience, and the balance we need to find between Emotion and Reason. Naming/Identifying your emotions is where we start the process of learning to manage them.

10 Primary Emotions:

  • Anger
  • Fear
  • Sadness
  • Disgust
  • Envy
  • Jealousy
  • Shame
  • Guilt
  • Love
  • Happiness

Beth whiteboards the process to determine our root emotions using Lance’s experience with his Core Value exercise that he did after Episode 1. (If you have not watched Episode 1 yet you can watch it here)


Action/Urge Process:

  • Prompting Event – Emotion – Urge/Action

Beth uses the example of her own Anger/Guilt/Shame cycle to help us learn to recognize the cycles that we develop over time that can become a coping skill in our lives.

She explains how tracking back to your primary emotion in a prompting event can help you determine what value of yours is not being met. Once we discover this, we can find different ways to fill our needs so that we no longer require the coping skills we have developed.

Beth also shares how looking back at the tendencies and reactions that seem to be a reflex in your life can lead you to things that are buried in your life that you need to look at and deal with.

Having this information can help us rein in some of our overblown emotional responses to the situations around us, which could be a pivotal tool to help us increase self-awareness and raise our Emotional Intelligence level towards both ourselves and those around us.


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